Unsweet Music
by iheartkatamari
Summary: Oneshot. When Twilight Sparkle and her friends give a band performance at the local music hall, the station manager is so impressed that she asks them to come back the following evening. Unfortunately, the instruments have been left in Pinkie Pie's less than capable hooves! Based on a Mickey Mouse cartoon.


**This mostly adheres to the continuity of the Friendship is Magic series, with one minor alteration being that several ponies from other series are now part of the cast. The storyline of this oneshot is based on a classic Mickey Mouse cartoon entitled, "Symphony Hour," and the title is a nod to a song from My Little Pony Tales. Please enjoy!(BTW, pics of Miss Wisteria and the other characters from this story are now available on my blog, the Keeper of the Fun blog!) **

It's a peaceful evening in Equestria. In a music hall in the heart of the city of Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle, who's garbed in a formal black silk gown, is conducting a band made up of her six friends. As she raises her baton, Applejack, who's wearing a light brown dress with an orange trim, begins to play a trumpet, then Rainbow Dash, who's wearing a sleeveless rainbow-striped dress, jumps in on the drums with a cymbal crash.

_Dunnn, dun, da-da-da-da-da-da-dunnn-dun(1),_

_Da-da-da-da-da-da-dunnnnnn..._

_Da-dum-da-dum-dum-BUUUUUUUUUM-TSS!_

The station manager Miss Wisteria(2), a tall lavender pony with a light and dark purple mane and tail, blue eyes, and a purple flower shaped cutie mark, listens happily as Applejack continues to play her trumpet as the rest of the band joins in, then Fluttershy, who's wearing a pale pink dress with a white trim, jumps in on the violin with Rarity, who's wearing a sparkly sapphire blue gown, accompanying on the bass fiddle.

_Daa, da, da-da-da-da-da-da-DUUUUUUM-DUM-DUM-DUM,_

_Daa, da, da-da-da-da-da-da-DUUUUUUM-DUM-DUM-DUM,_

_Deeee-deedly-deee-deedly-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle,_

_Wum-wum-wum-wum-wum-wum-wum-wum-wum-wum-wum-wum-wum,_

The entire band then joins in, playing mightily; Pinkie Pie, who's wearing a yellow dress with a multicolored trim, accompanies on the trombone and Spike, who's wearing a black tuxedo done up with a red bowtie, on the oboe and xylophone.

_Dunnn, dun, da-da-da-da-da-da-dunnn-dun_

_Da-dunn, duh, da-da-da-da-DAAAAA, dun, dun, dun, dun,_

_Deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle,_

_Dun, dun,_

_Deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle,_

_Dun, dun,_

_Deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle,_

_Dun, dun,dun,_

_Doo, doo, doo doo, doo, doo, doo doo..._

_Dumm, dum-dum-dumm, dum-dum,_

_Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-DEE-deedly-deedly-dee, deedly-deedl-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum,_

_Deddly-dee-dee-dee, deedly-deedly-deedly-deedly-dum,_

_Dum, dum, dum, dum-dum, dum, dum,_

_Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DAA-da,_

_Da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da-dit-da-da-da-da-da,_

_Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DAA-da,_

_Da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da-dit-da-da-da-da-da,_

_Doo-doo-doo-doo-DA, DA, DA, dee-dee-dee-dee-dum-dee-dee-dee-dee-dum-da-da,_

_Doo-doo-doo-doo-DA, DA, DA, dee-dee-dee-dee-dum-dee-dee-dee-dum,_

_Dee-dee-dee-dee-dum-dee-dee-dee-dum,dee-dee-dum, dee-dee-dum, dee-dee-dum, dee-dee-dum,_

Dash quickly finishes the song off with a rapid drum solo and a cymbal crash.

_BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BUM-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BUMMMMMMM-TSSS!_

"Bravo! Bravo!" Miss Wisteria cheers excitedly, as she hurries into the room. "That was beautiful, my friends, simply beautiful!"

"Why, thank you, Miss Wisteria." Twilight replies politely as she traipses up to her.

"Well, say, friends," Wisteria notes. "We'll be holding a band concert at this music hall tomorrow. If it's not an imposition, might you and your band come back and perform for us then, please?"

'Certainly, Ma'am." the purple unicorn obliges.

"Ooh, wonderful!" Wisteria replies with a smile.

The group returns to the music hall the following evening. As Spike and the other horses make their way toward their hotel room on the top floor, Pinkie, who's toting a heavy case housing the band's instruments, stops at the top of the long staircase to catch her breath. As she turns around, the pink pony accidentally bumps the case, causing it to begin tumbling down the stairs. Panicked, Pinkie begins hurrying after the quickly falling item. "Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, ohmigosh!"

As she races down the lengthy flight of stairs, Pinkie passes a blue pony and a purple Pegasus, who are on their way up. "Uhm, 'scuse me please, sir! 'Scuse me please, ma'am! Please don't mind me!"

The two horses stare on in amazement. "Did you just see that?" the blue pony inquires.

"If I say no, will it go away?" the purple Pegasus replies.

After a moment or two, the case finally reaches the bottom of the stairs, where it pops open, causing the instruments to spill out on the floor. "Ahh, no problem, no problem," says a still very agitated Pinkie. "At least they're still in one pie-" She's barely said these words when a luggage trolley speeds by, crushing the instruments like peanut shells under the feet of an oncoming crowd. _SMAAASH! _Dolefully, the pink pony ambles up to the demolished instruments. "Gee..."

Meanwhile, back in their room, the group are waiting patiently for Pinkie. "Pinkie's been gone for quite a while," notes a concerned Twilight. "I hope she's okay." The purple unicorn leaves the room, traipses up to the top of the staircase, and calls, "PINKIE ARE YOU OKAY?"

"PLEASE DON'T WORRY, TWILIGHT," the pink pony calls in reply. "I'M QUITE FINE. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" As she gathers up the shattered instruments, Pinkie cringes with concern. The concert was beginning soon and they had no time to find replacements. What could she and her friends do?

Upon Pinkie's return, a white pony with a pink mane sticks her head into the room and says, "Miss Wisteria will see you now, friends." Upon this, the band quickly makes their way downstairs to the stage.

A large group of horses and other creatures gather in the audience as the concert begins. "Ladies and gentleponies, Wisteria studios is proud to present the musical stylings of Maestro Twilight Sparkle and her band." Upon hearing her name called, Twilight traipses out onto the stage and gives a polite bow. She then traipses up onto the pdium and takes out her baton. "Now, the maestro steps up onto the podium," the announcer says in a hushed voice. "She raises her baton, and we hear..."

Twilight promptly waves her baton in the air, upon which a loud, strange screeching is heard.

_SKWEEEEE-SKWEE-SKWEE-SKWEE-SKWEE-SKWEE-SKWEE-SKWEE-SKWEEEE-SKWE-SKWEE-SWEE-SKWEE-SKWEE-SWEE-SKWEE-SKWEEEEE-GAKTPH!_

Twilight stares in shock as Applejack plays a beat-up trumpet that sounds like a bubble pipe full of soapy water. Dash then jumps in on a rickety xylophone, accidentally hitting it too hard on the last note and sending a piece flying toward Rarity's head, knocking her head over hooves.

_CLA-CLANG-CLA-CLANGG-CLANG-CLAAAAAAANG, WHIZ! BONK!_

Wisteria stares with her mouth wide open, barely able to believe what's she's seeing and hearing. Pinkie puffs on a partially demolished oboe until it pops, beaning her on the head with a shattered shard.

_BUUUZZ, BUZZ, BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BUUUUUUUUUZZ,_

_CLA-CLANG-CLA-CLANGG-CLANG-CLAAAAAAANG,POP! DOINK!_

An uneasy look crosses Twilight's face as she continues to conduct the band. Looking up at the sponsors booth, she spots Miss Wisteria glowering back at them, upon which the purple unicorn begins to sweat profusely.

_BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-SQUOINK! BEEP WHONK! WHEEZE!_

_BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-TINNG-TINGITY-TINNG-TINGITY-TING, TING, TING, TING, TING, TING, TING,TING,_

Fluttershy tries to strum her violin's loose strings with the tip of her hoof as she holds them between her teeth, while Rarity accompanies on her worse-for-wear base fiddle.

_TING, TING, TING, TING, TING, TING, TING, TING,_

_WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK, WOINK,_

As the band plays on, Pinkie blows on a beat up bugle until it inflates like a balloon and backfires into her mouth, while Applejack puffs on a ramshackle sousaphone until one of the valves pops out and begins hitting her on the head.

_SQUAAALL, SQUALL, SQUA-SQUA-SQUA-SQUA-SQUA-SQUALL-SQUALL,_

_SQUAAALL, SQUALL, SQUA-SQUA-SQUA-SQUA-SQUAAAAA-SQUA-SQUA-SQUA-SQUALL,_

_TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING,_

_SQUALL, SQUALL,_

_TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING,_

_SQUALL, SQUALL,_

_TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING,_

_SQUALL, SQUALL,_

_TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING,_

_SQUALL, SQUALL,_

_TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING,_

_SQUALL, SQUALL,SQUA,_

_HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK..BONK! BONK! BONK! BONK! BONK BONK! BONK! BONK!_

As she watches this frightful display, Wisteria grows madder and madder. Spike then quickly accompanies the band on a set of beat up chimes, a ramshackle xylophone, and a worse-for-wear accordion, respectively.

_DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DIIING, DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DING, _

_CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK,_

_BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, HAW-HEE-HAW-HEE-HAW-HEE-HAW-HEE-HAWWW!_

Twilight tries nervously to conduct, barely taking her eyes off of the furious Wisteria in the sponsor's booth. As the band plays on, Spike then plays another refrain.

_TWEET, TWEET, TWEET, TWEEET-TWEET-TWEET,_

_CLANG-CLUNK-CRASH-DING-WHAM-DING-CLANKITTY-CLANG-CLANK-CRASH,_

_DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DIIING,DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DING, _

_CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK,_

_BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, HAW-HEE-HAW-HEE-HAW-HEE-HAW-HEE-HAWWW!_

Once Spike has finished playing his accordion, he looks up to see a girl donkey in the audience batting her eyes at him. The little dragon sweats and gives a nervous gulp. He tries to run away, but only succeeds in tripping over the xylophone and getting his head stuck in a drum.

_TWEET, TWEET, TWEET, TWEEET-TWEET-TWEET,_

_CLANG-CLUNK-CRASH-DING-WHAM-DING-CLANKITTY-CLANG-CLANK-CRASH!_

Spike runs around the stage, desperately trying to get the drum off of his head. "Hey, who turned out the lights?" A diamond dog in the audience gives an uproarious barking laugh at this strange scene; Spike finally manages to pull the drum off and glowers at the dog. "Wiseguy."

Meanwhile, as the band continues to play, Pinkie, who's now wearing a blue baseball cap(3), hops around the stage, playing a crumbling saxophone.

_BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING-BOIING-BOING,_

_SQUALL-SQUEAK! SQUEAK! CLUNK-CLUNK-WHACK! WHACK! THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD,_

_WHEEZE-WHONK!_

_TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET, TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEEEEEET-TWEET,_

_SQUALL-SQUALL-SQUEEK-SQUEEK-CLANG-CLANG-CUCKOO! CUCKOO! WARP-WARP-WARP-WARP-WARP-WARP-WARP,_

_DUNK-DUNK,_

Pinkie's saxophone finally falls apart, causing her to stare blankly; meanwhile, Spike accompanies the band on his accordion again.

_TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET, TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEEEEEET-TWEET,_

_SQUALL-SQUALL-SQUEEK-SQUEEK-WARP-WARP-SQUEEGIE! SQUEEGIE! WHUMP-WHUMP-WHUMP-WHUMP-WHUMP-WHUMP-WHUMP,_

_HEE-HAW-HEE-HAW!_

Spike glances over to see the girl donkey blowing kissed at him, causing him to blush and sweat even more. Meanwhile, Dash rapidly jumps in on percussion, smashing the drums, cymbals, and xylophones in a flurry.

_WHAM! BANG! CRASH! THUD! POW! WHAM! CLUNK! THUD!_

Dash ultimately ends up with part of a xylophone on her head like a punk rocker's hairdo. "Whatta revoltin' develpoment." she grumbles.

_BA-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ, TOOT! TOOT! BA-BA-BUZZ-BA-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BUZZ-BA-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BUZZ,_

_BA-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ, WHEEZE! WHONK! BA-BA-BUZZ-BA-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BUZZ-BA-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BUZZ,_

_SQUEEEE-SQUEE-HONK! HONK! HONK!_

_SQUEEEE-SQUEE-SQUEE-SQUEE-SQUEE-SQUEE-SQUEE-SQUEE-SQUEE-BOING! BOING! BOING!_

_SQUEEEE-SQUEE-CUCKOO! CUCKOO!_

_SQUEE-SQUEE-DING! DING!_

_SQUEE-SQUEE-WARP! WARP!_

_BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ, TOOT! TOOT! _

_BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ, WHEEZE-WHONK!_

_BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BUZZ-BUZZ, POP! POP!_

_BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BA-BA-BUUZZ,_

_BEEP! BOING! CRASH! DING! SQUEEGIE! CUCKOO! THUD! WARP!_

To finish off the song, Dash quickly flies across the stage, accidentally toppling Applejack and Pinkie, causing the latter to land in the former's tuba. "Oogh," a dazed Pinkie groans. "Where am I?"

_BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BA-BA-BA-BUUZZ,_

_SQUEAK, SQUEAK, POP! WHAM! CLANK!_

_BEEP-BA-BEEP-BEEP-BA-BEEP-BEEP-BA-BEEP-BEEP-BA-BEEP-BEEP-BEEEEEEEEEEEP!_

Dash then quickly slams away at the last remaining set of partially demolished percussion instruments, causing them to smash into bits and a cymbal to crash on her head.

_WHAM! BAM! BOOM! THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-CLAAAAAAAAANG! CRASHH!_

Once the song has finished, a concerned Twilight approaches her equally concerned band. At this moment a very irate Wisteria approaches them. "Twilight Sparkle, I have only one thing to say about this band's performance tonight." Sweating profusely, Twilight and her friends give audible gulps. Suddenly, a loud roar of uproarious laughter is heard from the audience. "Hee, hee, that was the funniest performance I've ever seen!" giggles a lime green unicorn. "They must have planned this from the get-go!" the orange Pegasus next to her chuckles.

Wisteria is taken aback for a moment, but this emotion quickly transforms into joy. "...That this is the most wonderful performance I've ever seen!" she exclaims elatedly, shaking Twilight's hoof. "You and your band have quite a talent for what you do."

Twilight is rather surprised by her reaction, albeit pleasantly so. The band smiles as the crowd cheers for them; the girl donkey hurries up on stage and gives Spike a great big hug and kiss. A disconcerted expression crosses the little dragon's face as he blushes bright red. "Gee..."(4)

**The end.**

Voice Cast

Twilight Sparkle/Announcer/Audience-Tara Strong

Spike/Green Unicorn/Audience-Cathy Weseluck

Pinkie Pie/Stagehand Pony-Andrea Libman

Rainbow Dash/Purple Pegasus/Audience-Ashleigh Ball

Miss Wisteria-Jennifer Hale(5)

Blue Pony/Diamond Dog/Audience-Tom Kenny(5)

Orange Pegasus/Audience-Terry Klassen

Audience-Brian Drummond, Tom Kane(5), Nicole Oliver

(1) This is the same song from the original Mickey Mouse episode.

(2) Wisteria is originally from G3.

(3) A nod to the original episode, in which Goofy was wearing a baseball cap while playing a crumbling saxophone, for no particular reason.

(4) He's probably thinking, "How do you tell a girl donkey you're not her type?"

(5) A nod to another famous series from the creator of MLP:FIM, the Powerpuff Girls.


End file.
